Clare Lin, Chung Tai Zen Center, Sunnyvale
I was not aware of my outer-clinging mind, nor the inherent buddha nature, for five decades of my life. The turning point came when I began to attend the meditation and Zen Buddhism class at Chung Tai Zen Center of Sunnyvale in June 2023. The completed Level I and the current Level II classes enabled me to reflect inward and understand the original mind.
I reflected on my pursuits. I realized that my attempt to seek senses of security and satisfaction through clinging to the external circumstances did not work well. My mind was often swayed by all kinds of emotions such as joy, anger, sorrow, happiness, and boredom. However, all beings have the intrinsic pure nature of their mind, which is not different from Buddha’s pure nature. To realize the Way, I had to first awaken to the present mind. Subsequently by being the master of my mind, I can dissolve and transform afflictions. When the mind is free from afflictions, the bodhi mind, the pure mind, will manifest.
The mind is at the gate of the six senses. I experienced the benefits of gathering inward the six senses during the seven-day meditation retreat. Taking good care of the six senses for seven days, I had no eye contact with others, no reading other people’s minds, no reading books, or browsing the Internet, no social media, no talking, and no overeating. I let go of thinking about loved ones and daily mundane tasks. I constantly practiced mindful contemplation to combat the outer-clinging habits of my eyes, ears, nose, tongue, body, and mind. To my surprise, my delusions, discrimination, and afflictions diminished. My mind felt clearer and calmer than usual. I was particularly inspired when the Abbot said that if one could achieve for one minute of not thinking about the past, present, or future, not becoming drowsy, and being the master of one’s mind, one is like a buddha for one minute. This pure and lucid mind is our true self.
If I don’t make consistent efforts, my mind can hardly settle and attain peace. I set a goal to practice no attachments to external conditions, or wandering thoughts whenever the six senses encounter the six sense objects. In every moment, I must observe the six senses and bring forth awareness when perceiving outer objects – form, sound, smell, taste, touch, or dharmas. Bring forth the intrinsic awareness to see through the sense objects with the teaching stated in The Diamond Sutra, “all appearances are illusory." While standing, sitting, walking, or resting, I must be clear and aware of every thought, resist the karmic habits of being carried away, and thus abide and subdue my mind. When the mind turns clearer and calmer, I would be able to abide in true reality and avoid falling into dualistic views. Keep up the efforts of tempering the mind through action and nurturing it in stillness even though there are often relapses. When my karmic habits make me lose my mind, I regret and repent immediately.
The cultivation of learning to realize buddhahood requires us to gradually purge our mind of all afflictions and abide in the original nature. The mind should be clearly in command when we are both in action and not in action. The Zen meditation practice opened my eyes to what it is like to be in stillness, rest all thoughts, be free from attachments, and abide in the unmoved mind. Initially I practiced meditation regularly in the weekly class and half-day retreat. Then I added meditation to my routine before sleep. Then I recited The Diamond Sutra every morning. Finally, the seven-day meditation retreat provided me with the experiential learning of intensive meditations as well as regular recitations in the early morning and at night before going to sleep. I realized this is what I need to work on day after day earnestly – reciting the The Diamond Sutra and practicing sitting meditation in order to nurture the clarity and lucidity of the mind. Taming the mind daily is like training muscles, which takes repeatedly consistent practices to eradicate obstacles and deepen the details. A mind free of thoughts is our true self. When I start a day or end a day in a state of being close to my true self, the mind is more likely to remain in command whenever the external conditions become gratifying or frustrating or whether the phenomena are arising or ceasing. For example, I encountered an unexpected situation in which my husband drove our car aggressively and refused to yield to another car. At the very moment, I was shocked and questioned him if he would be concerned about the other driver’s safety. His defensive response, “No.”, alerted me just like the clashing sound of halting boards at the end of a walking meditation. I immediately brought forth awareness, stopped clinging to the disturbance, and eradicated distorted thoughts. I brought back my mind and grounded myself in true reality. I decided to do nothing, say nothing, and concentrate on my breathing, which resulted in purifying the three karmas – physical, verbal, and mental. After getting home, I treated him with the usual compassion while we moved on to do chores. A few hours later, we discussed grocery workers who start working by four am so that customers can buy fresh seafood by nine am. The right conditions presented themselves. I raised a question to my husband, “Are there more unknown people who we need to appreciate or those who we need to condemn?” He pointed to the former without hesitation.
The Chan patriarchs said: “stand firm and stay firm.” With the faith in my intrinsic buddha nature, I hope I will find a footing in the non-arising mind and firmly dwell in such realization to free the mind from afflictions. I am committed to the long-term hard work of becoming skillful at various forms of cultivation that will benefit both myself and others. With the right causes and conditions, my innate priceless pearl will ultimately radiate its infinite virtue and wisdom.